How the Mind Protects Itself: Understanding Psychological Defences
How the Mind Protects Itself: Understanding Psychological Defences
We all have moments when we say things like, “I’m fine,” when we’re clearly not, or “It doesn’t bother me,” when it very much does. Sometimes, without meaning to, we find ourselves brushing something off, joking about it, or changing the subject. As a psychotherapist in Dundalk, I often hear these turns of phrase in the therapy room, small signals of how the mind protects itself. These phrases can seem harmless and often they are, yet sometimes they point to something deeper happening just out of awareness: the mind’s way of protecting itself.
How Defences Show Up
Sometimes defences are obvious, someone laughs off something painful, insists they’re over an ex when they’re still heartbroken, or blames a colleague for a frustration that really belongs to them. But often they’re more subtle. We might become overly practical or logical just as something emotional begins to surface. We might stay busy to avoid the quiet of our own thoughts. We might tell ourselves that a disappointment was “for the best” and maybe it was but there can also be a hint of protest in the insistence.
Our minds are quick and resourceful. Like an umbrella opened in a sudden storm, it shields us from the downpour of feelings we’re not yet ready to face. Or a curtain drawn across a bright window, a defence can soften the glare of an uncomfortable truth, allowing us to keep going. But if the curtain stays closed too long, it can block out what is trying to come to light.
Why We Needed Them
It’s important to remember that defences once had a purpose. They formed at moments when we needed protection, perhaps when a feeling was too much to bear, or when there was no one to listen. They’re echoes of how we once kept ourselves together when life felt too much.
From a psychoanalytic point of view, the problem isn’t that we have defences — we all do. It’s when a defence becomes rigid, automatic, or a habit that allows us to keep repeating patterns that no longer serve us. What once protected us can begin to imprison us.
What Therapy Can Do And Why It Matters
Working through our defences in therapy matters because they shape how we relate to others, to the world, and to ourselves. When they become too fixed, they can keep us repeating old patterns, protecting us not only from pain but also from possibility.
In the therapy space, these patterns can begin to soften in their own time. As trust builds, what once had to be hidden or defended against can start to come into view. Little by little, the mind finds new ways of being that don’t require so much protection.
As a psychotherapist in Dundalk, my approach is to respect the rhythm and pace of each person’s process. Defences loosen gradually, through safety and consistency, not by force, but through listening.
What Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Offers
In the psychotherapy sessions I offer in Dundalk, the aim isn’t to strip away our defences but to listen to them, to hear what they’re protecting. The slips, jokes, denials, and silences that appear in speech are not mistakes; they’re signposts pointing to something important that’s been pushed aside.
In my practice, I often find that when someone begins to recognise their own defences not with judgement, but with curiosity, something opens. What once felt stuck begins to move. Speech itself does the work.
These defences were never mistakes; they were creative solutions at another time. Psychoanalytic psychotherapy offers a chance to listen to what they once protected, and to allow something new to take their place.
Getting In Touch
If you are looking for psychotherapy or counselling in Dundalk or If you would like to explore how your defences show up in your life, or just want to understand them better, you are welcome to get in touch.
