What if you didn't have to bear it? How psychoanalytic psychotherapy can help

19 Feb

How psychoanalytic psychotherapy can help us speak about suffering

As human beings we are faced with many challenges in life. Life can throw a lot our way. We can end up enduring a great deal of suffering as we move through life whether it is the loss of a loved one, being faced with an illness, relationship breakdowns, significant disappointments, or major life transitions.

Moving through, not just bearing suffering

In these moments, it is likely to feel that you would be doing well to move from suffering to just being able to bear your new situation, your new reality. And while this is an admirable hope and aim there is far more potential and possibility that can open a different path for you.

This has always struck me in my therapeutic work with people, but it was further illuminated by reading some of Elizabeth Roudinessco’s work where she speaks about psychoanalysis and the beginning of psychopharmacology. Elizabeth spoke of the inventor of psychotropic medication, Henri Laborit, who made the striking observation that “without psychotropic drugs, there might perhaps have been a revolution in the human consciousness, saying: “we can't bear it any longer!” whereas we have continued to bear it thanks to psychotropic drugs”

This is not to diminish the importance of medication in people's life but more so to appreciate Henri’s observation that essentially as humans we have just found another way to bear our suffering. A way to live with it rather than finding a way to move through it.

What psychoanalytic psychotherapy can offer

Psychoanalytic psychotherapy can offer us a way into addressing our suffering. A way to engage with the suffering, work through it and eventually discover a new way of engaging with your life. This doesn't happen by coming in all guns blazing and digging into your past. My approach is rooted in a respect for each person's pace and readiness. When it comes to speaking about what is difficult it is best to make inroads into it rather than confronting it head on. Rather than trying to uncover everything at once, it's more about listening for what emerges naturally through repeated phrases, hesitations, slips, jokes and dreams, moments that often hold meaning without needing to be forced.

Humor, creativity, slips, and dreams are all ways in which a person can begin to speak about their suffering. They allow something painful to be spoken indirectly, in a way that feels bearable, they are often protective forms of speech, ways the psyche approaches what is difficult without being overwhelmed. It is through these seemingly small openings that something of the suffering can begin to be spoken. It is not that suffering will be forgotten, but that you can begin to form a different relationship with that suffering, for it to be allowed to be spoken, to be heard, and worked with. This is the work I do with people as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in Dundalk. By attending to these moments in speech in a safe and gradual way, what once felt stuck, lodged or unspeakable can begin to move.

Getting in Touch
If you would like to explore this work and the ways you can relate differently to your suffering, I offer psychoanalytic psychotherapy in Dundalk. You’re welcome to get in touch, and we can discuss whether this approach might be right for you.

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Niamh Duffy

What if you didn't have to bear it? How psychoanalytic psychotherapy can help

Feb 19, 2026

Life can bring moments that feel unbearable. In psychoanalytic psychotherapy, even small gestures, a hesitation, a remembered dream, a subtle slip, or a glimmer of humour can become openings to speak about suffering. Through these moments, what once felt stuck or unspeakable can begin to move. Change doesn’t mean forgetting pain or even digging deep into it, it means discovering new ways to engage with life, to allow suffering to be acknowledged, heard, and worked with. Sometimes, all it takes is a door slightly ajar, a small crack, letting something new begin to emerge, a shift, a thought, a possibility quietly taking shape.

Jan 5, 2026

Why we keep doing things that don’t truly satisfy us

Many people notice themselves repeating patterns, chasing experiences, or staying busy, even when nothing they are doing truly feels fulfilling. What is often being played out has not yet been put into words. In psychoanalytic terms, people often repeat to remember. When what is continuously repeated can be spoken about and worked-through, it no longer has to be endlessly relived.

There is a difference between enjoyment and desire. Enjoyment is immediate and fleeting, while desire grows in absence, ambiguity, and in the gaps where something is not yet complete. In psychoanalytic therapy, attention is paid to these gaps — the hesitations, slips, and ambiguities in speech — where something new can begin to take shape.

Rather than offering surface-level freedom through endless choices, psychoanalytic therapy offers a freedom at the level of one’s position: how you show up in the world, how you relate to yourself and others, and how you inhabit your own life.

Oct 30, 2025

How the Mind Protects Itself: Understanding Psychological Defences

We all have moments when we say, “I’m fine,” when we’re clearly not, or brush something off without realising it. As a psychotherapist in Dundalk, I often notice these small signals in the therapy room, subtle ways the mind protects itself. Defences can soften the impact of difficult feelings, like an umbrella in a sudden storm, but if they become too rigid, they can limit how we relate to ourselves and others. In therapy, we can explore these patterns safely, gradually discovering new ways of being.

If you are looking for psychotherapy or counselling in Dundalk, you are welcome to get in touch.